Getting back on track

If you haven't noticed, I've been pretty absent. I haven't blogged in over a month. It's bad, I know.

I've just come to the realization that I need to get my life back. I've been so bogged down by my injuries, the stress of doing it all alone, my lack of time for God, missing my husband, that my hopes of a peaceful and organized life have not come to fruition. Gee, I wonder why?

I'm not connected in any kind of social way, other than getting on Facebook and wasting HOURS searching online for ways to get my life back together. Funny thing is, all I'm doing is reading about it. I'm not DOING it. That needs to stop. I can't handle the mess, the disorganization, the stress of it all anymore.

It's time to do.

Not think. Not wish. Not hope. DO.

So please pardon me... I haven't been keeping up with you all, and I feel guilty about that, but at the same time, my family needs me to do this. I'm taking a sabbatical from my blogging, and blog reading, until I have managed to have some kind of order in my everyday life. When I can go about my life in an orderly and less stressed fashion, I'll be back. I really do enjoy blogging, and being online, but it is eating me up that I haven't gotten it together more.

Love,

Tasha

Random Hi...and outletting a few thoughts.

Hello, Bloggy World. I haven't spent time with you in the past few weeks. I really need to catch up with you, but my motivation is almost completely depleted. So I thought I'd throw out some randomness.

And I'll use bullets, since they are so darn fun. Be forewarned. My Aunt Suzie is on her way, and has adjusted my mood to something a little more friendly than a pit bull with hemorrhoids. I'll end it on a good note, I promise.

• I have yet to get my cast removed from my foot. I won't go into details at this time, as I might start ranting for hours upon hours and then my face will turn red, I will crave massive amounts of wine to ease the distress and I will tell the kids to fend for themselves for dinner. (Just kidding. Kinda.)
• There is a person, somewhere in the Army, and I don't know who or where they are. And they better hope it remains that way, as they are responsible for THREE of our paychecks DRASTICALLY lower than normal. They honestly think we can get away with only 30 cents for housing. And quite honestly, I don't like calls from credit cards saying, "Uh, where the heck is your payment!?" I chaps my ass, as my hubby would say.
• I miss my dear friends who stayed with me for a while. The people you meet in the military are generally a hit and miss in regards to meaningful friendships. We hit outta the ball park with this family. I love them. :)
• We own a house in VA. One we can't sell yet since we bought it at the wrong time, blah blah. We have people renting it. Guess what they aren't paying this month? Sigh. Paired with the Army screwing up our paycheck, I might as well go stand in line at the welfare office.
• A family member of mine is facing legal issues, and it ain't pretty.
  
• I miss my Hubby. Can I repeat that? I MISS MY MAN!!!!!! :(
  
• My kids are hiding in the den, watching movies. They are wise, as I'm easily annoyed right now, and need to adjust my attitude before I'm worth anything as a mother.

Good things:

• Er, I'm alive?
• That God created man, and man created wine, and a glass of wine makes me smile and love everyone.
• That I have beautiful children who are at least mostly understanding when Mommy is having a rough day.
  
• That nobody I know and love is dying.
  
• That I no longer have wires and rubber bands in my mouth, and can eat normal food.
• That I can vent here, and know that I won't get crucified for being human, not perfect, and a little frustrated at times.

Ok. I feel better now.

So. Cute.

So, I can't stay long, but I wanted to bop in and show you all this...

I love vintage things, and I have decided I absolutely MUST get a sewing machine, because check out this amazingly cute vintage patterns Etsy store!!! Oh I'm in love!

Also, I can't help but put a plug out here for my fabulous friend, Deidre, and her new line of vintage-redone fashion, Storm & Stress. I'm so proud of her and her recent fashion show she put on in my old home town, along with two other designers. She is so talented, and an absolutely AH-MAZING person on top of it! Plus, she married one of my bestest friends in the world. She couldn't get more awesome if she tried! Love you Deidre!!

Hearth and home

I've been procrastinating a bit this morning, but I wanted to share really quickly that I have been making progress with my house. It really feels good when you don't have to trip when walking through a room! :)

I have friends coming this week (or hopefully, they are still awaiting orders) and I want to be able to relax with them. I know they love me regardless and don't judge me by the condition of my home, and I truly love that about them. However, I don't want to have to clean a lot when they are here, so I am doing it now!

Maybe when they are here I can decorate. That would be fun! Or maybe I can just sit for hours and hold their adorable baby. I've been craving a baby fix! Plus, that will give his mom a break too! I'm really looking forward to cooking for them as well. Cooking is so much more fun when you have guests to eat it!

So off I go to clean another room, throw in some laundry, and eat breakfast/brunch. Then later, I will be having parent/teacher conferences all afternoon to see how my little ones are holding up in school. BYE~

Finally taking a breath again

Oh my, I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest today! To kick off the day, I resolved my issue with the County Schools on the exemption I was going to get for my kids.

I ended up calling the TN Department of Education and speaking with the Director of Coordinated School Health. A MOST helpful individual! She assured me I was in the right, and that I could direct those giving me a problem to her. She also assured me that they would make every effort to make sure we were not ostracized in any way for our beliefs. Thank GOD!!!!! After informing the County, via phone message, what was told to me. I hung up the phone, and yelled "YES"! I even did a fist pump. Cuz I'm dorky like that. :)

I had also been waiting for a call from UVA Hospital, to find out when my arch braces for my jaw would be taken out. I knew that I had a spot reserved for tomorrow, and was told I would receive a call regarding when my actual appointment was going to be scheduled. At 4pm today, I had still not received a call.

Now, I have to drive 5+ hours to get to there, and I have to take my kids out of school for the day, and I have to have childcare for them while I get the braces off. The only person I could find that could actually watch them was my Grandma, bless her soul! Finally, in a near panic, I started calling every UVA number I could find until I got the right office. Since I wasn't even told where I was supposed to go.

I FINALLY got a hold of someone who knew when my appointment was and where I was to go. And, oh yeah, it is not a quick little thing, I have to go into surgery for this.

Oy vey.

They didn't tell me this was going to be a surgery!!! So I have to get my parents to pick me up from the hospital after work, since they absolutely cannot get off work, even though they tried. I'll sleep there Friday night and then probably head back home on Saturday so that I can get this house that resembles Kansas during a tornado back into some semblance of order.

I have to say, there is a God. If there weren't, I would be crazy by now! He is giving me the strength to do this, even though at times I'm sure I am just gonna cave in to it all.

I'm going to clean up around here, pack and load the car, and then go to sleep. At the lovely hour of 3am I should be scooting out of here to make the trip to VA. I know I won't have a ton of sleep to go on. But guess what? I'm going to look on the bright side of things and get LOTS of sleep while I am in the hospital. I won't have any visitors to entertain with my post-surgical wit (I get very witty when I have been drugged) and I'll know my kiddos are in good hands. So I'm gonna sleep, and enjoy the vacation. ;)

(But prayers are welcome.)

PS. Please pray for my hubby too. He hates not being able to be here for me right now and is stressing a lot about it. I love him! He needs to not worry so much. He is sick as well, so any prayers will be wonderful!

Autumn thoughts...

I ADORE fall. I love the way the air turns crisp, the leaves turn vibrant colors, and the feel of warm soft sweaters on my kids and I.

Hugging your kids when they are wearing soft and snuggly sweaters is so yummy!

I love that you can build a campfire and ENJOY the heat radiating from it. The way the wood smells and the soft crackling, snapping and popping from wood not quite fully seasoned.

I love drinking apple cider and carving pumpkins. I love making pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread and pumpkin spice coffee. And anything else involving pumpkins.

I love taking long drives on mountain parkways and enjoying the scenery and colors, listening to happy music, and asking the kids to point out the different colors they see.

I love it when an autumn tree looks like it is a green paintbrush, dipped in several different shades of orange, yellow, and red.

I love the SMELL of fall!

Autumn, you can't come quickly enough, and I hope you stay around for a long time!

A little explaination. :)

I just had an urge to post. I'm having that urge a lot lately.

I have a lot to get done. I say that all the time because all the time it is true. I have a to do list a mile long and so varied!

One thing I HAVE to do is deal with a lawyer that is advising my local county public schools.

I'm taking a big breath here, as I'm about to plunge into a highly debated topic.

I do not vaccinate my children. I have personal, medical, and religious reasons that support my decision. I am well-educated on the matter, and as the mother of my children, knowing them better than anyone, and in my faith responsible for their well-being, I have come to this decision.

By law, I am not required to vaccinate if it is against my religion (Read: FAITH). By law in most states, including TN, I have to sign a document, sometimes notarized, stating the vaccination requirements are against my religion. That is what the law says, that is what I do. Unfortunately, I now live in a county that can't wrap their head around this concept, even though I have provided the Tennessee codes. Apparently, it is not "good enough" to say, in a sworn statement, that vaccinations are against my religion.

The law states otherwise, and I had to go around finding evidence to prove I am following the law. I even looked up some Supreme Court cases to back me up too.

Anyhoo, when I asked them to provide me with the laws requiring me to provide further (and by law, unnecessary) evidence that this is indeed my religious position, they said that this lawyer who works with the Department of Education told them to get this further verification from me. I told them I wanted to speak with the lawyer, and they gave me his phone number. On Thursday (or Friday??) I left a very polite, professional message asking him to return my call. It is Tuesday evening now, and still no ring-ring. He may be busy, but they put a (as far as I know, bogus) time limit on me to resolve the issue before they kick my kids out of school.

Because the little darlings are TEEMING with highly infectious diseases and the other children who are vaccinated are SURE to contract the measles, rubella, polio, tetanus, and the chicken pox from my little CDC level 1,2 and 3 petri-children. (Heavy sarcasm)

And just for a moment, may I make a statement? Polio, the poster child for "reasons to vaccinate" hasn't been seen in the Western Hemisphere for at least 18 yrs, and in Asia, for the last 12 years. Although there is some arguments on those dates, it is pretty clear that is isn't a serious threat. End of Statement.

I'm pretty sure when the lawyer gets back with me he will quickly realize that this is not the mother he wants to harass. There are many 1st Amendment cases out there and I like the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, law, science, and writing letters. And I HATE it when people think I am a bad mother. Or ignorant and stupid, as they assume since I have religious beliefs and am not mainstream.

I have never, ever been subjected to this type of questioning before now. Even on a military post, when dealing with that school, they only asked what was required by law. (The military is vaccination crazy! My husband has had so many vaccinations, and they don't even tell him what he has been given!) Even there, on a military post, I was not harassed in this manner.

Now that I have fully researched the codes of TN, and have further evidence to back me up, I do not believe that I will have much trouble, but it is nagging me nonetheless. So there are my two cents on the matter.

My other large thing I have on my to do list has to do with my accident.

I cannot even begin to express the frustration and difficulty I have faced in finding doctors here who will take me as a patient. (no, they are not aware of my stance on vaccinations...yet) I have to travel 5 hours to the University of Virginia to take off my mouth brace. Not one doctor here will take it on. In regards to my orthopedic needs (my foot and hand) I have had to run around signing releases and TRY to get my medical records transferred so that a doctor can review them and decide if he will continue my care. Wow. It has been challenging to say the least.

Then there is the magnificently organized Army, who has decided that my children and I have vanished from the face of the earth (again) and cut our housing allowance, which makes up almost half of our pay. For some odd reason though, his phantom family still exists in the Family Separation Pay department, the medical and life insurance department, and in the tax exemption department. Not to mention DEERS knows we are here too. In fact, even though I have repeatedly fixed this, we have a fourth child, with Meadow's middle name as the first name. I must have missed the supposed twin born via C-Section on the same day as Meadow.

What does this poofing out of existence mean for my family? It means that this most recent paycheck, the one designated for rent and various bills, was less than even our rent. My rent is pretty low, people. I get this cabin for a steal. You couldn't rent if for a week at the rate I get it for a month. Thank God we had a little padding from me cutting expenses. Even so, I may have to borrow gas money from my parents just to make it to Va to get the brace out of my mouth.

Through all of this, I am doing my best to be calm and collected. It works, at least some of the time. I guess through my most recent posts you can see that I am a bit harried at times. It makes me laugh when I think of me at age 16, thinking life would be so much easier and less complicated when I was out of the house and on my own. I can't wait to broach that subject when my kids are teens. I hope I will have raised them at that point to know that life is full of trials and responsibilities, and that one must be prepared and calm. And responsible.

So, that is what is going on, on top of my house needing massive organization, a budget that needs, I repeat, NEEDS, to exist, and a reasonable schedule to manage these obstacles. I know it will get easier. I know that living in a house for a year (or more!) will help as I will not have to constantly live in fear of the next move. I know that eventually, I will have a household that runs smoothly, that my underwear will have a place in my drawers, that I will be able to find an important piece of paper that I need in less than 3 hours, and that I will be able to focus on the things I want to do.

And that want to do list? That is even longer than the need to do list.